Mayor's Row...by Ned Mitchell

            It has been a devastating week at the Mitchell house.  A lot of bad things can happen to each of us during our brief stay on this earth but when the computer I use on a daily basis goes down, it is devastating.  Never mind the fact that I have two lap top computers available to use that can be carried from one room to another, it is this old desk top that I have become friends with.  Every morning starts out with a ritual of mine that finds me reading about 10 daily newspapers from all over Illinois, even getting in St. Louis and New York.  For some reason reading newspapers on the lap top is just not the same as reading them on a wide screen monitor.

            The whole ordeal started late one night last week when my internet service quit working.  Being the computer illiterate individual that I am, I immediately set out to fix the problem.  I went through all of the routine steps of shutting down the router, hitting the reset button and re plugging in all of the wires that run all over the place.  When all of that failed I got up my nerve to call tech support at Verizon.  I got a tech assistant on the phone by the name of Clarissa.  It is odd that all these tech support folks speak very poor English but have very English sounding names.  Clarissa took me through an hour and thirty three minutes of steps that supposedly would help my situation.  Together we were able to get both lap top computers working but when we started on my favorite desk top the problems that would plague me for the next three days began.  On her instructions I was told to start removing programs and then re installing them.  I had no idea who Clarissa was or what country she was located in but stupidly I followed her advice.  Once I had all the programs removed and re installed I was told to shut down the computer and power it back up.  When I did that nothing worked.  Clarissa by that time was about to pull her hair out and she finally advised me to contact the manufacturer of my computer for further assistance and hung up.

            Of course I thought I can fix this and set out to seek advice from fellow computer hacks.  I followed everyone's advice to no avail.  There are a lot of computer experts out there who like me think they can fix anything.  Several of us tried to resurrect the old desk top but it was an exercise in futility.  I tried to contact a couple of experts in the field that I use in a bind, mainly when all of my home remedy solutions fail.  One was on his honeymoon and the other was simply covered up.  Another thing with a computer genius like me is that when this thing goes on the blink, I want it fixed right now, not tomorrow or next week.  I have newspapers to read every morning and this column to right so I don't have time to get in line and wait.  I don't think computers have helped teach people like me patience.  If anything they have made us more demanding and less patient!

            Another friend of mine who has had similar failures advised me to take the computer to Carbondale and visit the Best Buy store.  They have a service there called the geek squad and they will fix your computer on sight usually while you wait.  A visit to Carbondale Saturday night with the old lap top found me breath a sigh of relief when the service geek, as he called himself, assured me that he could have me up and running in 45 minutes or less.  First though he pointed out that my computer was getting a lot of age on it and that I might want to consider replacing it with a new faster model.  One of the things wrong with mine was the power supply was in complete failure and needed to be replaced.  That would cost $119.00 installed.  He also advised that he would need another $30.00 to re install the missing soft ware program that I had deleted.  I got to thinking that before I put another $149.00 in this relic maybe I should look at replacement.

            Looking over the crop of new computers and being the conservative guy I am, cheap to some folks, conservative to me, I found the lowest price model that would work for me at $459.00 without a monitor.  That seemed reasonable until I asked the tech if he could transfer all of my programs from the old computer to the new one.  He replied that he could transfer data, pictures and other such things, but that the programs that I was using, including all of the Microsoft programs, would not work on the new computer.  I would have to buy all new programs that would cost several hundred dollars.  Is it any wonder that Bill Gates is among the richest men in the world?  Here I had already purchased a lot of Microsoft programs and have used them for years and now I am told that the old Microsoft programs will not work on a new computer.  Needless to say I elected to have the old one repaired and went on my merry way.  The service tech even fixed the software problem and said that was so easy he did not feel right about charging me the $30.00 to fix it.  Hooray for the geek squad at Best Buy, I heartily recommend them to impatient computer hacks who need it fixed right now!

            I arrived back home and hooked all the wires up to the repaired desk top and guess what?  You were right if you guessed that it still did not work.  I immediately dialed up Verizon tech service and after about 10 minutes of talking to computer generated robots that somehow speak and understand, I finally got a real live person.  This time the person's name was Gary, and again he spoke very little English.  Somehow these folks at Verizon have begun to recognize me and Gary was very friendly, even asking how the weather was in Sesser, Illinois.  I chatted with him and I told him about our weather and asked how his weather was.  He replied that he was in the Philippines and that it was very hot there.  He told me that it was 12:30 in the afternoon there and I told him it was 11:00 at night in Sesser.

            Gary explained that it might be quicker if I would let him control my computer and make the necessary changes to fix my problem.  I had seen this done before through my work computer and it is truly amazing.  Gary, in the Philippines was able to see my monitor screen and move the computer mouse from one point to another making the necessary changes to fix the blasted thing.  Technology is truly amazing when we have a guy named Gary in the Philippines that is able to take over the functions of my computer in Sesser and repair it while I sit in the easy chair and watch.  Gary even told me how to end the whole process should I ever be in doubt or uneasy about what was going on.  It took about an hour for Gary to make all of the repairs and get me up and running again.  Rather than instruct me how to make the necessary moves myself, Gary just took the bull by the horns and fixed the whole thing while I watched.  Like I said, the folks at Verizon must be getting to know me by now and figure it would just be easier for them to fix it rather than try to lead me in that direction.

            One last attempt to retrieve my email for the last three days also failed and once again I was calling Verizon tech support.  This time I got a lady named Ann who also spoke very little English.  Ann was able to get my email problem solved in about 5 minutes though and I am happy to report that all is well with the old desk top computer at the Mitchell house and I am back in business just in time to write this column.  And to think this computer has replaced the old portable Royal typewriter that my folks bought me for college work!  Back then we had no grammar or spell check and we had to think for ourselves. We had to use an eraser to correct mistakes and the blasted thing would not allow me to read a newspaper on it.  I am delighted with the technology we have today but come to think of it if the Royal typewriter needed a ribbon change I did not have to call some guy named Gary in the Philippines to find out how to do it.  Perhaps I have not kept pace with the technology that is available to us today! Another thing, I did not have a phone back then to even place the call!

            By the time we visit again next week we will all know how much extra cash we have to spend with the rebates we are in line to get from the power companies.  I would only caution to stop and think that while one billion dollars is a lot of money by the time that is split among all the utility customers all over the state it will amount to very little per house.  Don't expect a huge bonus to hit your house all at once as the plan I have seen will find the rebates taking place over the next four years.  This will more than likely amount to about $50.00 per year.  Don't hold your breath on this deal!

            Make plans now to attend the Pyramid Players production of Big River that will be playing August 2, 3, & 4^th at Rend Lake College.  This production will feature music and lyrics by Roger Miller and promises to be another success by the Pyramid Players who have been around doing good shows for decades.  I did run into Benton attorney Jim Ford at the Opera House Café in Sesser over the weekend and noticed long hair and beard that are out of character for Jim.  He explained the look was for his part in the show and that in itself will make this show one to see.  Tickets can be ordered by calling 439-9196 or they will be available at the door.

            If you need us, give us a call at 625-3611 or 625-5322 or write to nedmitchell@verizon.net or www.sesser.org or post office box 277, Sesser, Illinois 62884.  We are happy to hear from you!